At the recent at the recent ITECD conference,
the United Nations delegates determined that the BSDs must unite in order to provide a single best
platform for use in third-world countries, and dispatched negotiators
to each of the project leads, resulting in the new FretBSD Project.
The members of the FreeBSD and NetBSD teams have joined in
whole-heartedly, with both present and past members giving it their
"Now that us old geezers are out of the way, the BSD projects can reunify like they should
have done years ago" said Jordan Hubbard, a long time player involved in FreeBSD from the start, but now
moved onto other projects. "I understand that they're going to be
implementing a new installer and packaging system, so I'm content."
Luke Mewburn, previous NetBSD core team member, said he was keen to
help with the merger: "FreeBSD was already using the NetBSD FTP
daemon, our rc.d system, and our Cardbus support. This was inevitable,
Perry Metzger, ex-NetBSD developer with Wasabi Systems, said: "This is
what we've been waiting for! It'll give us access to more developers
and users! Could you please take the electrodes off now?"
Mr. Metzger will be doing his future FretBSD work from
the lowest level of the maximum-security United States prison camp in
Guatanamo Bay, with a 24x7 armed guard to ensure his safety.
Theo de Raadt could not be reached for comment. While Theo's home has
been surrounded, UN peacekeeper troops have yet to storm the building
and heavy casualties have been reported in the surrounding
countryside. UN spokesmen insist that the siege is going according to
plan, however, and Theo is expected to be available for integration in
the new combined BSD at some date in late 2023.
Of the two hundred
eighty-nine casualties suffered by the UN troops at this time, the
commanding officer insists that they were caused by a rampaging
Canadian moose. Daniel Hartmeier, previously of the OpenBSD Project,
insists that OpenBSD has no weapons of moose destruction.
Within a week, all mailing lists and Web servers for the legacy NetBSD
and FreeBSD projects will be terminated. The mailing list for the new
combined project will be hosted from the United Nations datacenter on
a Microsoft Exchange server. As UN monitors will be moderating the
mailing lists to prevent disagreements and divisive arguments before
they begin, this system is expected to be adequate for the load.
The biggest controversy seems to be the selection of a new logo, which
has stirred much debate within the new FretBSD community. While the
BSD Daemon will remain, it's just a matter of changing his sneakers.
Kris Kennaway, ex-FreeBSD Ports Cluster administrator, said : "We need
to change those sneakers. Why do you think they're green anyway?
Purple is a much superior color".
In a rather disturbing vein, Greg Lehey has disappeared. Confirmed rumors continue to circulate that he has
set up a rogue CVS and mail server somewhere in Tasmania. Similar rumors surround the disappearance
of Christos Zoulas have not been substantiated but we have been unable to contact him.